A statement in today's chapter reminded me of a night out with my hubby, the statement by. Verna reads; " I don't want my life to be wasted or useless."
It has being 15 years since I went to a club with my husband because we have enjoyed throwing our own dancing in our basement with our friends!!!
It was so fun and I was so exited, my hubby and I met at a club 22years ago and although I never heard of DJ grand master Flash whom my hubby was taken me to see I was looking forward to our date night.
Before we went into the club, we went to subway and there we saw an ambulance volunteers and a police officer escort a man that was so drunk he has pass out. As the asked the man questions he replied, I don't feel good, one of the officers said, "stop drinking then.", I bet that man wishes it was that easy.
We then went to the club and had a great time listening to music and talking, but there in the background was a reality that could not be ignore, there was a lot beautiful of hurting people. One lady that was my age was there and drunk men were all over her, I hurt for her that I started talking to her and invited her to Church, I pray one day she finds the invitation I gave her and remembers me and remembers that there is more to life that she doesn't know.
At the club I was reminded that I was part of that world and I felt no shame. I left the club feeling so sad because most of those people have brought into a lie that was fed me for so many years. You were not created for a purpose, you are not valuable, you are not to treat your body as a treasure possession, your will not be happy unless you do what you want to do, no one cares that you are making a mess of your life, you will not be held accountable for the way you chose to live your life, you have suffered plenty so what the heck just have fun and don't care about anyone but yourself, people like you don't actually make a positive difference in the world, this is the life.
Although I met my hubby at a club, I know for a fact that I will not be the woman I am today if I had continued to listen those lies.
I always say if I could do it again, I will pick the same husband but in a way that is pleasing to God.
I am not in a any way proud of the choices I made before God spoke the truth to me, I have reap no benefit from the things I am now ashamed of.
Romans 6:19-21 says;
"I am using an example from everyday life because of your human limitations. Just as you used to offer yourselves as slaves to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer yourselves as slaves to righteousness leading to holiness. When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death!"
I was dying, I was not happy, I had compromised my own moral standard, I was hungry and desperate for peace, happiness and love that it led me to do things I wished I never had.
I am grateful for God has been good to me as
Psalm 116:1-7 says;
I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live. The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came over me; I was overcome by distress and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord: “Lord, save me! ” The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The Lord protects the unwary; when I was brought low, he saved me. Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.
Truly my heart aches because whether someone believes in God or not, they are believing lies that are leading them to make choices they will be ashamed of later, it happened to me.
I pray for boldness to give people an opportunity to hear a different truth than the one the believe, the one I know was not making me happy it was just making me pretend I was. I am so humble that I was able to step into that world and see it for what it really is full of pain and sorrow.
I sometimes can become critical of people life because I forget that I was part of that life, I am so grateful that God gives me the opportunities to not forget.
I remember going to a class on forgiveness once and I heard a statement that change the way I view people; "behind every jerk there is a story.", I was a jerk and I have a story I pray to never forget that so I can keep a heart of compassion toward others.
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