Today, January 11, 2014, I woke up and did the usual that I normally do on a Saturday morning when hubby isn’t home; get out of bed, use the restroom, peek on the kids, check my phone to see if I missed any important texts, and get back to bed ready to spend time with God. I picked up my IPod where I have my Bible App., browsed through my email, read any comments people gave me on facebook for whatever picture or stuff I posted, read a small devotional from a spiritual book.
And then it hit me; something is missing. I wasn’t engaging in my time with God, I knew I wanted to but I was having a hard time getting there. I got up take my dog on a long walk. Outside was rainy, normally I would say forget it, but I felt the urged to go for walk. Since my dog doesn’t get a choice he came with me!
I started to walk, my pace was slow, my mind was still, I decided to not force my thoughts but just walk and see what happens. I found myself thinking of nothing, just enjoying the scenery. I felt the rainfall, noticed the wet grass, and gazed at the every stream of water I walked by. They looked like miniature waterfalls that were created in the ground. Then I felt inspired to pray. So I did. Instead of allowing the Spirit to lead me to what to pray about, I forced my prayers and it went something like this: “God, I ask for help for my friend. I ask for help in sharing my faith more. Help me to be a better mother. God, you are so awesome, thanks for loving me.”
It became clear I was forcing my prayer so I stopped praying and decided to sing.
I sang the first song that came to mind out loud; “God is so good, God is so good, God is so good, he is so good to me.” And then it hit me, there is nothing wrong, I am not distant from God; yes, I have things to work on in my character that are ongoing, but for the most part there is no sin I am having a hard time shedding. I am not harboring any bitterness in my heart, I am not struggling to forgive anyone; and it felt weird.
There was nothing pressing on my heart to study so I can work on it; nothing I am grieving; nothing I am being corrected in that I am struggling to do; nothing I am crying about; and nothing I am feeling frazzled about.
Immediately Ecclesiastes 7:14 came in my heart and I could see the words so clear and I understood when it says; “when times are good be happy”.
I didn’t know that I could just be happy and feel OK about it. Life doesn’t always have to be challenging or falling apart in order to feel close to God or feel like God is working in my life. Although that has been my life so far, it doesn’t mean it always have to be that way. I’ve had bad times, and I will have more bad times, that is guaranteed; but today I will rejoiced and be happy in the fact that times are good and my God knew this time would come as much as the others.